What is the solution to ‘Parental Alienation’?

I’ve been thinking.  Always dangerous…

I have spent a long time now on the forums.  There is a lot of sadness out there.  A lot of anger.  A lot of desolation.

There is also a massive amount of knowledge.  There are alienated parents out there who know all the stuff about pathology.  Who know all the stuff about the law.  We are a very well-informed community.  But still parents are not seeing their kids.

Some of you guys haven’t seen your kids for literally decades.

Some propose marches.  Others talk of education for judges and CAFCASS.  Yet more about writing to your MP.  And so on.  And so forth.  None of these things do any harm, and indeed, we should continue to do them.  But how much good do they do?

What we notice is that:

  • Being in the right makes no impact on the ‘system’.
  • Being intelligent makes no impact.
  • Being educated makes no impact.
  • Being eloquent makes no impact.

Do you really think that we actually know more than judges and social workers?  I can tell you – we do not.   These people know as much or more than we do.  Education is irrelevant.  We, as a group are the bullied kid in the playground.  Do we seriously propose that we should, or even can negotiate with this bully?  We can’t.  We have tried ‘telling the teacher’, but the teacher is not interested.  Because the teacher just wants a quiet life – to get back in the staff room and have a cup of tea.  Much like the prison warden that allows ‘big John’, the vicious psychopath on ‘C wing’ to run things…

Further, we know from various experts that, if we can get contact going, or residence transferred, we have a chance to re-establish our relationships with our children.  The love is there – it’s simply that it has to be suppressed as a survival technique.  Experts say that the child can be ‘flipped’ very quickly – I have heard estimates ranging from weeks, to minutes.  Our children are members of a cult.  They are brainwashed, but frightened, helpless.  They need our help.  It’s as simple as that.

There is hope…we can get our kids back – IF we can get our kids back.  Getting contact and preferably residence and stopping the brainwashing is key.  Without that, the alienation simply deepens, as we have seen with numerous court cases.  After fighting the alienator and the courts and social workers that enable them, spending money on invertebrate lawyers and experts along the way (who also, by the way ‘get it’ perfectly well) we eventually have to skulk away from the Court of Appeal (the tiny percentage of us that get that far) as just another ‘tearful and wholly deserving father’ (or mother of course) – a phrase that has become pretty much ‘stock’ in the courts.

So…how can we get our kids back?

By getting the judges to do their jobs.

And how do we do that?  Well, it’s not education – we surely know this by now.  It’s not eloquence, intelligence, persuasion, reason.

So what is it?  How do we get our kids out of the cult of the alienating parent and their helpers?

We have to start by substituting reason with action.  And by substituting anger with passion.

But how?  What do we actually do?  All suggestions welcome…

 

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